how does real motivation come??
I was 11 years old that time. Was out on a morning walk and i observed a large number of people walking together. it was not a marriage procession as people were normally dressed. i was alone, so i followed. i also started observing them. most of them were women. they were all not in the same mood. there were small groups which were interacting. i silently entered into the crowd to know more. a group of ladies was talking about the bad habits of their spouse. another voice i could listen, talking about tensions in the joint family. i felt suffocated in these talks and moved out. i looked at the procession from a distance. they seemed the normal people from a distance but unlike the normal people they were sharing their problems. from a close angle, they seemed sad. i spotted a child of my age in the group and ran towards him and asked,"tusi saare kithe ja rhe ho?" (where are all of you going?). he instantly said' "dere challe haan!" (going to the dera!). i had never heard that word. the literal translation of the word is "any dwelling place". were they homeless? my lack of knowledge kept me confused.
some weeks later, i was told that our family is going out on sunday for a picnic. this was exciting. but to my amazement, it was a famous "dera" where we were going. that is when i came to know about a dera. a place where "the spiritual guru" dwells and people go to get solutions to the problems of their life, to be motivated. that day i came to know about some neighbours who were a regular follower. i decided to find out, if this really motivates people! slowly i began realizing that these were just the normal families. their homes though had big photographs of the guru but some of the families had frequent fights and quarrels. i couldn't relate the values in the discourse of the guru with the reasons of the quarrels.
they went to the guru for feeling motivated. but what was going wrong. why was the motivation absent? these people had rather developed an ego of being a follower of the guru. and this had a role to play in the ego clashes. trying to find peace, they were loosing what they had. they had a support system with the guru and the followers. what was missing? understanding doesn't come just by thinking.
as time passed, i developed a very introvert nature and started stammering even. i began facing situations where i would be ridiculed. i would be alone and would wish to share, to have a support. i then started remembering the people i saw that day. they were sharing their grief with each other. i longed for that but then i felt," does their grief end?" it even increased. so here i was in a situation opposite to them but with the same problem. i started to sort things on my own as i had no other option. the ability to do something lies in all of us. that needed no motivation. but that didn't move things externally. but internally, unknown to me, peace was finding place. unknowingly, i had stopped crying. unknowing i had gained some strength and i began realizing that i was not alone. the characters in the books became my friends, the trees became my guru and the grass my bed. they accepted me as a flower. i would talk to them. unknowingly, i was talking to myself. and i started loving my weakness and started talking to the mirror (which was again me!) and slowly i started talking to people. and now people want me to speak lesser. :)
that time i did not realize how it all happened! now when i think, i realize that we have taken life, opposite to the way it is. the source of motivation lies inside but we look for it outside all the time. the source cannot get ignited till one is challenged and accepts it. we rather avoid challenges and never accept them. we can only give ourselves into something if we are all naked, but we focus on possessing things which makes us weak. lets not apply our brains to track the path. the mind is very good at clearing the mist which lies there only. but the way is in the heart.
i was happy when i used to talk to myself and stammer. i never had a thought to be "ok" one day. i had accepted it and had never realized how? when? and why? i started to love speaking. even when there was no one to inspire, the inspiration from the inner was incomparable. it seems all the external motivation is about awakening that inner source of motivation which is the source of life.
"living is an art, and you are the artist"
some weeks later, i was told that our family is going out on sunday for a picnic. this was exciting. but to my amazement, it was a famous "dera" where we were going. that is when i came to know about a dera. a place where "the spiritual guru" dwells and people go to get solutions to the problems of their life, to be motivated. that day i came to know about some neighbours who were a regular follower. i decided to find out, if this really motivates people! slowly i began realizing that these were just the normal families. their homes though had big photographs of the guru but some of the families had frequent fights and quarrels. i couldn't relate the values in the discourse of the guru with the reasons of the quarrels.
they went to the guru for feeling motivated. but what was going wrong. why was the motivation absent? these people had rather developed an ego of being a follower of the guru. and this had a role to play in the ego clashes. trying to find peace, they were loosing what they had. they had a support system with the guru and the followers. what was missing? understanding doesn't come just by thinking.
as time passed, i developed a very introvert nature and started stammering even. i began facing situations where i would be ridiculed. i would be alone and would wish to share, to have a support. i then started remembering the people i saw that day. they were sharing their grief with each other. i longed for that but then i felt," does their grief end?" it even increased. so here i was in a situation opposite to them but with the same problem. i started to sort things on my own as i had no other option. the ability to do something lies in all of us. that needed no motivation. but that didn't move things externally. but internally, unknown to me, peace was finding place. unknowingly, i had stopped crying. unknowing i had gained some strength and i began realizing that i was not alone. the characters in the books became my friends, the trees became my guru and the grass my bed. they accepted me as a flower. i would talk to them. unknowingly, i was talking to myself. and i started loving my weakness and started talking to the mirror (which was again me!) and slowly i started talking to people. and now people want me to speak lesser. :)
that time i did not realize how it all happened! now when i think, i realize that we have taken life, opposite to the way it is. the source of motivation lies inside but we look for it outside all the time. the source cannot get ignited till one is challenged and accepts it. we rather avoid challenges and never accept them. we can only give ourselves into something if we are all naked, but we focus on possessing things which makes us weak. lets not apply our brains to track the path. the mind is very good at clearing the mist which lies there only. but the way is in the heart.
i was happy when i used to talk to myself and stammer. i never had a thought to be "ok" one day. i had accepted it and had never realized how? when? and why? i started to love speaking. even when there was no one to inspire, the inspiration from the inner was incomparable. it seems all the external motivation is about awakening that inner source of motivation which is the source of life.
"living is an art, and you are the artist"
"we can only give ourselves into something if we are all naked, but we focus on possessing things" Very Well written :)
ReplyDeleteThanks saurabh bhai :)
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